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What we think and what actually is…

June 20, I had my birthday. Being someone who sets a great deal by birthdays, I wait for phone calls or wishes from my people, acquaintances or friends. This year, I had all of the family calling me but from two of my treasured friends no calls at all( though I was pretty sure they knew the date). And June passed by.

And July. And now half of August is past too. Yesterday I wrote to one of them about something else and we started off a chain of messages. In one message, he wrote back, I didn’t go on the Sri Lanka trip with the classmates because my father was not keeping well.

I read the message and didn’t say anything because I knew his father knew no one and couldn’t remember anything. In another time, he was an eminent Space scientist.

A couple more messages later, I read another message- my father passed away last month.

Can you believe it ? Here I was- sad, angry about my friends not wishing me on my birthday and my friends were probably battling with the illness of their father/father in law. In my ignorance or lack of understanding, I didn’t bother to ask on my birthday- I wanted them to remember on their own, which they didn’t. My callous attitude and selfishness made me miss a time of their lives when they needed someone to talk to.

We never know what the other half of the world is going through- all we think of is our wrongs. Others could be having things going wrong at the same time  too.

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Wednesday Writing

I confess I have spent a couple of hours over a couple of days in a week thinking what words go well with days of the week, so I could use it to title posts on different days of the week and also those that would inspire me to think in terms of those titles and restrain  my writing within those categories. I must confess I have not been very successful- I have even searched on the net for rhyming words- what goes well with Wednesday- whines, worries- no- something positive – really have not come up with anything great so far, so it is Wednesday writing for now. I thought I would use Wednesdays to reblog inspirational blog posts or those that I resonated with,  in spirit.

First up, the keto diet is working- for my husband. His fasting blood sugar is down to 99 mg% this morning. He is so inspired he doesn’t want to see a carb in his life again, or so he says. I am skeptical though. All I have asked him is 21 days of his life to put him and his liver back on the bandwagon. It seems even medical people have got it wrong and him being a gastroenterologist and all. Though insulin is secreted by the pancreas, it is actually the effects it has on the liver, glycogen stores, carbohydrate intake and utilisation that determine how the liver functions. And the liver is what affects the way we use sugars or do not use them. It seems like our forefathers had got it all right when they talked of the four humors one of which was from the liver- gall.

And the other major thing that affects our carbohydrate metabolism is inflammation. I am still working on understanding this and will write more about this when I understand better. For now, I understand that the way you find out if you have inflammation is by measuring C- reactive protein. I could be wrong about this.

For all the metabolic diseases we aim to cure with this diet, it seems we might have got our hands around two of them at least- blood sugars and high blood pressure.

This week is entirely vegetables alternating with protein.

Yesterday, I made keto almond bread in a coffee mug ( microwave method). So delicious- was as good as a snack. I found a website that showed this recipe. Let me share it here. It is delicious. Husband and I refrained from trying this out as we are on vegetables and proteins only this week, though we did take a bite each and declared it great.

So for breakfast yesterday we had cauliflower pancake. That again was delicious.

It seems going no-carb is helping with the temper issues too. When we are small, our parents keep us from having too many sweets, as that makes us hyperactive, prone to temper tantrums and so on. It would seem we never grow out of them and that they were right in telling us to keep off sweets. Those days, there weren’t too many sweets at home too, so that helped. Now there is plenty of all those things but the restrictions remain- the only change is that there is no mom or dad to tell us – keep away from the sweet stuff !

 

 

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Day 30- farewells

June 13, 2018

Started off well. Pains of yesterday a matter of the past. Feel good. Guess why? Because of the visit of aunty Flo. Big relief. Temperature adjustment of the body better. Feel normal now after so many days.

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These are a lovely flowers- a bouquet for my farewell from Cyn. Today is my farewell lunch. It is at a hotel.

Sent a picture to my husband.

Husband: Are you going to cry?

Me: No. I never cry at farewells.

Husband: Make a speech anyway.

I am like that. Farewells make me sad but I can not cry. I look forward to my new life, new beginnings. The end really seems near now. Till now, I never really believed that this would happen.

At husband’s work, the previous boss has been frantically calling him. Today they talked after days of missing one another’s calls( busy doctors). Dilly-dallying about jobs is not a good thing,husband learnt. Through months of heartache and suffering and conjecture, marking an end to all the drama, the previous employer has welcomed husband back to his home institution. Come back, he said but join at the earliest. The scare of no job when he returns has been real. Husband readily agreed and said he would be there Monday to discuss the future.

Daughter 2 has qualified for admission to another prestigious institution( exam she wrote on June 3). This is another feather on her cap. A year, no three years of hard work have finally paid off. The youngest one is probably on her way to getting a medical degree.

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Day 9

May 23. I am keeping track of the days and events that lead to my last day at work. I don’t want to say, “the first day of school” though I keep hoping that will happen.

I had a doctor’s appointment today- the travel medicine doctor. My titers showed I was immune to measles, mumps, rubella, varicella and hepatitis C. That is 5 positives ( good news).  But I had no resistance to Hepatitis A:(.

As per   the document, I need to be vaccinated against diphtheria, pertussis and tetanus, then meningococcus, the flu and hepatitis A. I had to be tested for TB ( X-ray ) and the Quantiferon blood tests.

I am finally back after 3 hours in the hospital. I had 5 vaccination pricks today, 3 on the right arm and 2 on the left. They didn’t hurt too much but now I feel numb all over.

Then I went to the hospital bank to cancel my card, so I could get a bank clearance document.

After that I rushed to work as I have very little leave hours to spare. So that’s where I am on on day 9 of my preparations.

 

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Countdown day 2

If I do go to study there would be 46 days more for me to embark on my student journey. I am really excited. But I must share my feelings and things that are happening at home and at work as I need to vent.

At home, things are finally sinking in for hubby that wife dearest(:)) will not be around for a while and he will have to manage things at home on his own. So he has started showing his baby side. A lot of things are left undone at home. My elder daughter is not settled with her career as her admissions are delayed unendingly. The younger one wrote an exam which she thought she did well but as each day passes, and she looks at the question paper again, she finds more mistakes she has made.:) Luckily for her, there are two other exams in the pipeline for the same course that she wants to get into, and its like she has been given a second and a third chance. Fingers crossed that she makes it this time. With this sort of learning, one learns things every day. Knowledge is not stable and changes with time, and this seems especially true with the sciences and languages. So one has to keep with the times to be ahead of the race and a race it is. It seems now that it was a cakewalk for me to get into a few universities. My husband does not cook- well, almost. He warms up food to eat sometimes. He would rather go without food than do the work himself and he tells me he has enough resources to get a couple of people to help him with housework while I am gone. In the process, we are trying out various “cooks” and ” people to help with keeping the house clean”. I try to teach the “cook aspirants” how to put things together in the way we eat and it is a little difficult. I am not a good cook at all but my husband likes my food. And we live. But to teach a new person how to make food that will pass my husband’s tastes is a big deal.

At work, I have a meeting with our HR today to see if my benefits on leaving will be given to me on time or if there will be any “cuts” and so on. As I am planning on paying for my course with the funds I put apart over the past three years, a lot of my plans depend on the benefits I get when I go from the university.

My girls seem to be taking all the changes in their stride- the elder one has been waiting for seven months to hear something about her PG course- this is being delayed for unknown reasons. The younger one keeps studying, sometimes I think to keep her sanity.

All in all, it is a tough time and I am now thinking whether I should give up the course after the summer term.

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Spirit of power

” For God has not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.”  2 Timothy 7

All through the Bible there are instances of people who have been fearful. Moses when he was called to call and wake up the Israelites from Egypt, protested and had to be convinced by God.

So it was with Jonah- who did not want to go to Nineveh and preach repentance but rather chose to go a difficult route away from the hardships of public speaking.

Over the days of preparation for the exam, I did go through periods of fear, when my daughter feared wondering whether we would get through all the lessons in time. But I was led to this verse today and it embodies all that I went through the last year and also that I might go through.

All of us have in us the spirit of power that if we would harness, we can overcome any trouble that comes our way. Every day as we sat reading our lessons together, my daughter had a new illness that took off her study time- one day it would be a migraine, the other day pain from a callus on her foot and another day it was pain from sinusitis. Till we realized that these are attacks from negative powers that don’t want us to achieve our goals. Once that realization came, the rest was easy. Holding hands and praying not for cure from illnesses but power over negativity and anything that stood in the way of our goals.

It so often happens that when we have set goals for ourselves, so many things happen that seem to sabotage our path to success. Haven’t you felt like there are unknown powers in the universe that don’t want you to reach your goal ?

But if we see those for what they are, there is an illuminated path that can be seen through the dark clouds, that is set there for us, if only we would look for it- I saw it. And it can be seen if we harness the power inside us.

Once we get the power out, we can banish fear to where it rightfully belongs- in the underworld.:)

 

 

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Feather Florence

Fluff ball had kittens last month. One survived the outdoor life. From our back garden, which has a lot of trees, Fluff ball and little Feather have moved to our front garden. Feather has the classic eyes you see in the sweet kitten photos you see on the internet- the puppy dog eyes that droop downwards, unblinking stare and almost fearless look into your eyes.

My younger daughter named him/her “Feather” and we think she must be about  6 weeks’ old now. IMG_0012

Isn’t she cute ?

We don’t water this part of the garden all that much, in order to not scare Feather and create a fear of water, which she invariably will have.

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Her refuge are the weeds that grow in the garden and she seems to have a whole play field to herself. She posed for the photographs we took patiently and curiously eyed these strange two legged creatures who smelt and looked different from her mom but seemed interesting creatures.

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A few spring flowers on the other side of the garden from where Feather Florence lives.  Love the spring time.