I don’t have many friends. In fact, I have almost none. And this is how I chose it to be. I enjoy being with nature and animals and birds and just being an onlooker rather than a talker. Of course I love observing and listening to things. I constantly learn and try to improve myself.
In college, everyone had friends and many of those friendships have lasted even more than 30 years. Mine haven’t except for an occasional email from a friend in England and maybe a couple of messages from a husband wife couple who were my classmates in college, I don’t even have contact with many of my college mates. And from school, the situation is even worse.
As to from church, I am one of those who go to church to worship and quickly leave after the service without waiting for the socializing.
The repercussions of all these are now showing up. When we need a job, there is no one to vouch for us. When we need to look out for suitable grooms or brides for the children, we have no one to ask or help us. I used to think my heavenly Father is more than enough as my friend. My blog friends are a great support for me and I thank all of them for their prayers and support but I haven’t seen even one of them in life.
My daughter in college is challenged because of her reclusive nature too- she used to be very friendly and outgoing but some circumstances in her life have made her so. We are at a dead end about how and what to do with our lives.
Have you ever felt you wanted your holiday to extend and keep going for some more time?
That is where I am now. The holiday was restful. There were some visits we made to people we knew from about 30 years back as college students. We visited with our girls and their friends. The visits to old friends made for happy and sad times- happy in terms of seeing them alive and sad in terms of knowing how different life is now than when we were young. Life seemed to stretch as a long belt in front of us. Thirty years down, we realize how frivolous and testy life is. Things change. What we expected to happen 30 years back did not happen at all and what we never expected to see have happened.
Many of our old professors are either living lives of retirement or semi-retirement. The present crop of students don’t know or have never heard of the “Terror of our times” – our Anatomy professor, who was nicknamed MaJa short for her first name and surname. To young 17 and 18 year olds, this venerable professor seemed ever lasting and always seemed to hover around the department wearing her white sari. White was considered the colour of Anatomy. Times have changed- Daughter 2 mentions how friendly she is with all the Anatomy tutors and how they socialize even outside classes- a thing unheard or un-thought of during our times. MaJa doesn’t hover around Anatomy any more – nor do any of her successors. Children of her successors are however teachers there and there has been change- positive change. Anatomy is not a subject of fear anymore.
I visited a couple of retired professors who lived a few kilometers off the campus and relived old days. The days were reminisced through my husband’s eyes’ rather than my own for my days in the college had been difficult and I cannot remember many pleasant days there. Anyway, my husband caught up with old memories and discussed the difficult but “good old days”.
Another person we visited was a classmate of my husbands’ and who also happen to provide daughter 2 with home cooked meals on days she wants a change from hostel food. His wife has just recovered from a difficult surgery for an advanced disease so we could revisit with her. I remember her as a senior about three years older to me and who was so full of energy and enthusiasm for any thing ” the alma mater”. Today she is a subdued, mature lady in her early fifties, with a smile that speaks of pain and gratitude. Seeing her has been a shock to me and a reminder of how short or how soon life can change for a person.
A long plane ride back in cramped seats and a day spent in bed, recovering from the short trip made for a happy ending.
Planning to visit daughters 1 and 2 this weekend- a very short trip- a vacation for all of us from our routines. My nose bleeds are almost nil since the last one on February 23rd. Still on the medicine. Not much luggage this time. The trip promises to have its sparks and its events. I hate drama in my life but often, drama finds me as though it feels my life needs some livening up. It is what it is.
Friend Kat, who left our department about 6 months back, wrote to say her partner who was without a job or visa for about a year and a half, was finally approved for a job and visa- so that is a big relief for her. She also got a bank loan to get a new car that would not stop on the road for at least sometime. I think that’s super news. We might have a celebration some time for them. Still planning how to throw him a surprise party.
One of our colleagues from our main university campus, who was here for two weeks is leaving tomorrow, back to the home campus. So we took him out to lunch at the food court of a mall nearby. We went to the Cheesecake factory and indulged to our heart’s content.
The tempura shrimp, the prawns, the avocado sandwiches and the tortilla chips were amazing as starters. Drinks like strawberry lemonade and black tea were provided in large glasses with any number of refills- who could want any more? By the time main courses came over, we were all rather full but we went on. I ordered a hamburger and Cyn an endive salad, saving her space for a cheesecake. Who could leave out the cheesecake from a visit to the Cheesecake factory . Everyone had plenty of food left over to take home in doggie bags. Most of the bags carried their cheesecake desserts. The best part of the day- not to have to return to work after lunch- we left for home soon after even though our work day wasn’t over yet.