Morning Pages

An unexpected holiday for the observance of the passing of a gentle past president. Really don’t know what to do with myself.

Consistently having written the morning pages for 11 days in a row now, starting November 26. Julia mentioned that writing the morning pages is the first step towards “creative recovery”. I am doing the best I can but to be truthful, I haven’t felt it as an ” active meditation”yet or that I have changed in any way positive.

Yes, I have lost that “people pleasing”, ” not hurting people  if possible by being blunt” thing I surprisingly seem to have had. I can absolutely speak frankly, openly and pretty bluntly now of course, without being rude. I was rude just once this last week. I gave a co worker a piece of my mind and it was totally unwarranted. There is an excuse- I had some stresses at home and I didn’t care what I let out of my mouth. And the best part is a week after, I still am not sorry. I am glad I had that outburst. Is this one of the effects of the morning pages ?

I am exercising pretty consistently now- even jumping rope. I can do only the bounce step and only about a 25 jumps at a go but even that is a change. I do the Fitness Blender workouts for “cool downs” every day. And also my version of a 100 squats a day- I know they are not the perfect squat but they are the best I can do with my weight and my knee. 

And I am happy. So that must be a change, right ?

Squatting for life

One of the abilities I lost over the years seems to be the ability to squat. Squatting is cultural and in our environment and is the most natural thing to be able to do but not for me- not any longer. My sedentary habits are probably mostly to blame and of course, being overweight( no, obese) doesn’t help too.

Starting today, I decided to work on getting back into good squatting practices and to not support myself with a table or whatever is handy , getting up from a squat.

My cat makes strange sounds when he sees me – if I say hi, he says, something like a mix between a purr and a grr- now my  knees make the same- like an old rickety chair, which sounds as if it is going to give up.

I have done 20 already.  A good squat is not supposed to pain one’s knee but every time I get up, my knee lets me know it is there.