The infinity cross ropes arrived today with an additional payment of 35 monies above and over the Fedex charges. I have the 1/4 and 1/2 pound ropes now. And I started jumping. It is difficult to use these ropes. It is like doing a workout on the run with a load in your hands. I started 5 minutes of jumping rope( broken up into bits and pieces) for the past 9 days. I have increased my jumps from 10-25 without tripping 90% of the time and it seems I might be getting a few, well, at least 2 lines on my abdomen. Hope it is not my eyes playing tricks on me. This is in addition to the left knee pain and quadriceps hurts. I can see why they say jump rope is effective. But it has yet to become the fun it used to be when I was a child
Waking up early this morning. Feeling fresh and refreshed. It has been a good night. One in which I woke up only once to go to the bathroom( that is a big plus for me).
- For the computer, internet and wi-fi that are available 24 hours a day and let me have a virtual world apart from the real world. The virtual world helps me escape from reality for a good while.
- For ability to get access to books that help me improve my knowledge of things I thought I knew but actually didn’t and new things I learn every day. For recipes I am learning, creating and perfecting through these readings.
- For lowered blood sugars and blood pressure readings and the joy of seeing my husband happy and relaxed. The blessing of seeing this can’t be described in words. I never imagined my life to be so run by the happiness of another person but it is so, it has come to be so after 25 years of being in another person’s life. It comes to me that I have lived more years with this one person than with my parents.
- For 20 hungry cats that wait at my door each morning and evening and sometimes just hungry for a pat or a word from my mouth( I talk to animals). For each day I have with them though the thought that they won’t be much longer with me does bother me, I am determined to live in the moment.
- For a supervisor who has cooled down and is able to take time off from her worries and enjoy life at work. Her happiness transfers to us too and it is a blessing not to hear the tap of her shoes on the stone floors outside our rooms as she runs to get things done. For the slower pace of things this summer.
- For the ability to look at the better side of things at least when it involves others. I am trying to incorporate this in my life too.
- For smiles- for the smiles I see each day, for the smiles that remain in the world still. For people who give their smiles freely still. For people who don’t expect anything in return.
- For smart world leaders who do their job in their own characteristic way in spite of all the obstacles in their way. For the leader of a certain party who went out of his way to give a bear hug to his bitter critic opponent in parliament and who is ridiculed for it- for his guts to do so and not to keep grudges.
- For two legs that allow me to walk at will and that are under my control. I need to appreciate this ability more when I have them rather than wait for when I don’t.
- For eyes that see and ears that hear and a skin that heals fast even when injured. For a body that keeps me in one piece despite all the injuries I inflict on it.
True to its name, it has been a sunny day. The sun seems glaring at us from every direction. Even the plants seem to have given up. The ground is parched and cracked even though it is watered twice a day. It can’t seem to win against the evaporation.
As my car’s insurance had expired and we hadn’t noticed until the weekend, I was advised by the car’s owner( my husband) not to drive it till this issue was settled. The funny thing is I have been driving the car from the 3rd of July when the insurance expired until Saturday in ignorance but ever since I became aware and its owner aware, we are trying to be extra careful and follow rules.(sic). So today I called up work and told them I wouldn’t be able to come since I had no car. They advised me to call up an Uber and come to work, rather than take a day off. About 10 am, I took a risk and drove the car as usual. But with extra caution and with a nagging feeling that something untoward was going to happen. Thankfully nothing did and my supervisor was shocked when I told her I drove without insurance. Anyway all’s well that ends well and I am back home, safe and sound and the insurance is all bought and ready.
Elder daughter called me this way and wanted to know why I had stopped messaging her the past two days. Its true. I have been going slow with the messages since she doesn’t respond often and she is busy and I didn’t want to disturb her routine. Seems like she wanted to talk this Sunday, so I called her and we talked for about an hour.
Husband’s blood sugar is 90 mg% which is 5.1 and this is very normal for fasting levels. It now remains for the blood pressure to be controlled. His serum insulin came up as 10 and that is at the upper limit of normal- so he seems to be getting his insulin levels under control too. All the beef he’s eating has not activated any episodes of gout- yet. That is another symptom of metabolic syndrome. All in all doing well. There is a 24 hour fast scheduled for Wednesday and I rather dread the excuses he might come up with. It is difficult for people to starve in the midst of plenty.
I confess I have spent a couple of hours over a couple of days in a week thinking what words go well with days of the week, so I could use it to title posts on different days of the week and also those that would inspire me to think in terms of those titles and restrain my writing within those categories. I must confess I have not been very successful- I have even searched on the net for rhyming words- what goes well with Wednesday- whines, worries- no- something positive – really have not come up with anything great so far, so it is Wednesday writing for now. I thought I would use Wednesdays to reblog inspirational blog posts or those that I resonated with, in spirit.
First up, the keto diet is working- for my husband. His fasting blood sugar is down to 99 mg% this morning. He is so inspired he doesn’t want to see a carb in his life again, or so he says. I am skeptical though. All I have asked him is 21 days of his life to put him and his liver back on the bandwagon. It seems even medical people have got it wrong and him being a gastroenterologist and all. Though insulin is secreted by the pancreas, it is actually the effects it has on the liver, glycogen stores, carbohydrate intake and utilisation that determine how the liver functions. And the liver is what affects the way we use sugars or do not use them. It seems like our forefathers had got it all right when they talked of the four humors one of which was from the liver- gall.
And the other major thing that affects our carbohydrate metabolism is inflammation. I am still working on understanding this and will write more about this when I understand better. For now, I understand that the way you find out if you have inflammation is by measuring C- reactive protein. I could be wrong about this.
For all the metabolic diseases we aim to cure with this diet, it seems we might have got our hands around two of them at least- blood sugars and high blood pressure.
This week is entirely vegetables alternating with protein.
Yesterday, I made keto almond bread in a coffee mug ( microwave method). So delicious- was as good as a snack. I found a website that showed this recipe. Let me share it here. It is delicious. Husband and I refrained from trying this out as we are on vegetables and proteins only this week, though we did take a bite each and declared it great.
So for breakfast yesterday we had cauliflower pancake. That again was delicious.
It seems going no-carb is helping with the temper issues too. When we are small, our parents keep us from having too many sweets, as that makes us hyperactive, prone to temper tantrums and so on. It would seem we never grow out of them and that they were right in telling us to keep off sweets. Those days, there weren’t too many sweets at home too, so that helped. Now there is plenty of all those things but the restrictions remain- the only change is that there is no mom or dad to tell us – keep away from the sweet stuff !
Its been two weeks since that day. My shock day for 2018, I am going to call it. Where I pummeled down to the lowest a man can go.
I have stopped thinking over it. Today I met my supervisor who is back from holiday. Meeting her would, I thought, be embarrassing. I was losing sleep over it. I had said all my byes and said, enough and all that and then now I am eating humble pie. Life seems to be about eating humble pie often. It just goes to show where man thinks he/she is and that that position is not at all stable. It is perhaps better not to soar too high, so the fall is not too great. Arrogance – I must have been arrogant or I would not feel like I am eating humble pie, right? Well, it is a lesson, well learned.
The meeting with the supervisor was not too bad. She seems happy to have me back. I am grateful for the money from the job. I am grateful for the freedom of spending again but of course, I wish life had taken a different course. In a way I am glad, I am here, yet, to support my family while they are making changes in their lives but when I get an email from my college- I still call it that, there is a certain wistful thinking, of things that might have been. Maybe older women are not meant to study and are just meant to mind the hearth. I feel like Jo of Little Women when she returned from the boarding house home and found that everything looked the same but nothing satisfied.
For the past two months( since April), my diet and watching over my weight has all gone for a toss. With daughter 2’s exams looming on the horizon and the family predicting doom about her admissions, it took all of my positive spirits and bucking up to keep things up. Exams done, she did well, she secured admissions to good colleges but the midnight oil that burned during the process and the sleepless nights, the leptin and the increased, never-ending appetite and the eternal hunger pangs and the consolation, albeit temporary from eating food, even icecreams( which I have never even liked since childhood) and sweets( which I haven’t eaten since 2004), all goes to show how much of a toll the constant pushing of my limits was taking on me. I have not been taking care of myself.
I didn’t care anymore. I didn’t. Really, I mean, what is the point of living so long anyway? If I eat well and exercise and look well, what is the point? At some time, I am sure to get some lifestyle disease or some cancer or something else. See my thoughts. There was no rhyme or reason to them- was it the beginning of the empty nest syndrome?
Anyway, the thing is, this week, I have taken time to read and write and look well- put makeup on. I know makeup makes me look, well, made up and I am someone who loves the natural, no make up look. Still, I did some blackening of my eyes, some color on my face, smoothening up some holes, dental work, and hair care. I have rubbed lotions and oils on my body and put vitamin E cream on my face. This last because there was a tube of this very expensive cream lying on my dresser, I had never used before but must have bought some time in a trance and never used. The day after using the cream, I looked at my face and it looked different. By that time, I had forgotten I had done something to my face the previous night( applying the cream). My face shone like it used to when I was younger. Suddenly it struck me that I had rubbed some of that cream last night on my face. So the second night in a row, I applied some more of it on my face. Today, this morning, I looked at my face, and I notice, my face shining. This cream seems to be working on my menopausal skin.
This seems to be a good time to take care of me. No family, plenty of time, only my cat to take care of. Well, the point of this post – at last.
I am going to do the keto diet- this diet seemingly works for me as I am not very fond of carbohydrates anyway and can eat all I want of fats, what is not to like?
It is a 24 hour fast today- only lemon water, black coffee, tea allowed. This is a detox to get rid of all the sugars in my body.
June 16, 2018
Read a facebook post today of a girl. She was a student at the Medical College I graduated from. Different from me, she stayed on there and continued till she became a Neurosurgeon- perhaps one of the few women neurosurgeons in the whole country. And after reaching the pinnacle of her success- one day, 10 years ago, she quit and she moved countries. From sweltering heat to freezing snows- to Calgary, in Canada. For years she has been on a journey in search of herself and though she has no qualms of leaving a remunerative profession, she does look back. She is now a writer. After years of hibernation in the snow and the cool summers and the flowers and in the lap of nature, she has returned to her motherland- I do wonder why. And everything about the motherland surprises her- the heat, the interference, the internet, the poking nose into other people’s affairs- everything.
I seem to be in a similar boat too- I have not returned to my alma mater for any reunion or meetings with classmates since I graduated.My ideal world is where there would be very few of my classmates or college mates. The irony of the situation is that my elder daughter is at the very same institution doing her Masters degree and my husband did his graduation and post graduation from there. I seem to be running away too. I now live in the lap of luxury- materially. I have everything a normal human being would require- freedom to buy and spend on most things I require or don’t require- Price tags are just things to pull out of things I buy- not things to look at and debate about whether I need such a costly thing. Apart from the desert landscape, the brown color of everything depresses me. A rainy day fascinates me. Floods intrigue me. The grass is always greener somewhere else.
My farewell party- Cyn asked me what I would miss most about my current job. I said the ability to spend freely and not watch pennies, or dollars for that matter. What would I not miss ? The ability to write freely, speak freely with no religious overtones or undertones, the ability to breathe fresh air, with no dust. Dust free- that would be ideal. And mobility- to use my two legs without having to look at the pedometer and wonder how I haven’t made 10K steps yet. It always looks like my day ends with just about 800 steps. I will not miss the sedentary life. People at the party rolled eyes at me- there was one who has been in the country 15 years and was skeptical of my return to my mother country. I may not like it once I reach there. Things may look rosy now but may be too watery there.
Is life about running away all the time ? I am glad my husband is a keeper and hangs on to me for dear life, or I am sure I would run away from him too. Books are a means for me to escape from reality and so is food. Food is such a comfort- there is no hunger that drives my passion for eating. There is food, so it must be eaten- that’s the rule I follow.
Once in a while you have forgotten the benefits you reaped from a once favorite book or the advice of a good friend or the inspirations you thought of yourself when you were in a thinking mood. And you are on the verge of going back to old habits, old thoughts, old emotions and things you once gave up but are now beckoning you with all the colors of temptation. These are times when you need to go back to your roots- the books that gave you strength once or the friend whose advice was so dear to you or an inspirational reading.
I have a chocolate craving now almost every day, when I had almost cured it by the end of November. Fortunately the love for sweets has not yet returned.
Debbie from talkingtomyweightlosscounselor-god, wrote a post yesterday, which inspired this post.
I was inspired to take down old favorite books by Norman Vincent Peale
I am going to start reading them again.
According to Debbie, we need to hand over ourselves, our family, our dreams, our hopes, our aspirations, and everything that concerns us to God and watch as he unfolds his dreams for us. I am going to do this- in fact, I have already done so- after I read Debbie’s post on Trust.