Gratitude

Waking up early this morning. Feeling fresh and refreshed. It has been a good night. One in which I woke up only once to go to the bathroom( that is a big plus for me).

  1. For the computer, internet and wi-fi that are available 24 hours a day and let me have a virtual world apart from the real world. The virtual world helps me escape from reality for a good while.
  2. For ability to get access to books that help me improve my knowledge of things I thought I knew but actually didn’t and new things I learn every day. For recipes I am learning, creating and perfecting through these readings.
  3. For lowered blood sugars and blood pressure readings and the joy of seeing my husband happy and relaxed. The blessing of seeing this can’t be described in words. I never imagined my life to be so run by the happiness of another person but it is so, it has come to be so after 25 years of being in another person’s life. It comes to me that I have lived more years with this one person than with my parents.
  4. For 20 hungry cats that wait at my door each morning and evening and sometimes just hungry for a pat or a word from my mouth( I talk to animals). For each day I have with them though the thought that they won’t be much longer with me does bother me, I am determined to live in the moment.
  5. For a supervisor who has cooled down and is able to take time off from her worries and enjoy life at work. Her happiness transfers to us too and it is a blessing not to hear the tap of her shoes on the stone floors outside our rooms as she runs to get things done. For the slower pace of things this summer.
  6. For the ability to look at the better side of things at least when it involves others. I am trying to incorporate this in my life too.
  7. For smiles- for the smiles I see each day, for the smiles that remain in the world still. For people who give their smiles freely still. For people who don’t expect anything in return.
  8. For smart world leaders who do their job in their own characteristic way in spite of all the obstacles in their way. For the leader of a certain party who went out of his way to give a bear hug to his bitter critic opponent in parliament and who is ridiculed for it- for his guts to do so and not to keep grudges.
  9. For two legs that allow me to walk at will and that are under my control. I need to appreciate this ability more when I have them rather than wait for when I don’t.
  10. For eyes that see and ears that hear and a skin that heals fast even when injured. For a body that keeps me in one piece despite all the injuries I inflict on it.

Another slow Sunday

True to its name, it has been a sunny day. The sun seems glaring at us from every direction. Even the plants seem to have given up. The ground is parched and cracked even though it is watered twice a day. It can’t seem to win against the evaporation.

As my car’s insurance had expired and we hadn’t noticed until the weekend, I was advised by the car’s owner( my husband) not to drive it till this issue was settled. The funny thing is I have been driving the car from the 3rd of July when the insurance expired until Saturday in ignorance but ever since I became aware and its owner aware, we are trying to be extra careful and follow rules.(sic). So today I called up work and told them I wouldn’t be able to come since I had no car. They advised me to call up an Uber and come to work, rather than take a day off. About 10 am, I took a risk and drove the car as usual. But with extra caution and with a nagging feeling that something untoward was going to happen. Thankfully nothing did and my supervisor was shocked when I told her I drove without insurance. Anyway all’s well that ends well and I am back home, safe and sound and the insurance is all bought and ready.

Elder daughter called me this way and wanted to know why I had stopped messaging her  the past two days. Its true. I have been going slow with the messages since she doesn’t respond often and she is busy and I didn’t want to disturb her routine. Seems like she wanted to talk this Sunday, so I called her and we talked for about an hour.

Husband’s blood sugar is 90 mg% which is 5.1 and this is very normal for fasting levels. It now remains for the blood pressure to be controlled. His serum insulin came up as 10 and that is at the upper limit of normal- so he seems to be getting his insulin levels under control too. All the beef he’s eating has not activated any episodes of gout- yet. That is another symptom of metabolic syndrome. All in all doing well. There is a 24 hour fast scheduled for Wednesday and I rather dread the excuses he might come up with. It is difficult for people to starve in the midst of plenty.

Friday Foibles

It is a time when there is so much to write about but so many things hold one back-have you ever experienced that ? Doubts, should I put it all down or should I ruminate over them in my mind?

First there are reports of rapes and more rapes and atrocities against women. All over, repeatedly. What can women do ? What should we do ? Should we look the other way ?

Then there is a girl and her sister who want to come to our house to work as our own helper man has gone on his annual vacation. She has a day job at our university and wants to make a little money on the side by working at houses. I would have liked to have her but she would only come with another woman. They work together. For me, it was rather difficult – being the shy, withdrawn person that I am to have one too many people at home. But we did it- I relented and they came.

It was great to have someone ( though two) clean the house for me. I never can do it right-mopping the floor would leave water all around that I would slip on myself. Sometimes I leave my footprints on freshly mopped floors and have to do it over. So I was glad to have help but as they were new- I needed to be with them to show them the ropes. So half of my weekend day was expended in this supervisory role(:)). After they were done, I dropped them at a mall where they could get a cab to their work camp.

The house is clean but I think I will be doing the house myself again- that is feasible and workable.

My daughter has learnt a new dance move and she was showing it to me so I joined in. She woke up after 14 hours of sleep – she had come to the mall to drop the two girls yesterday and she got food from the Cheesecake factory- after eating which( perhaps??) she got a migraine, from which she recovered at 10 am today( Saturday)- a nice long nap or sleep she had.

Husband’s sugar is almost under control and without any medications- he is adapting with the lifestyle- no carbs at all- at least none that I could identify. But he took two days of the hypertensive medication which has Thiazide in it and so his blood sugar was a little higher than when it was without any medication. Thiazides are known to affect the liver and cause increased blood sugars. The blood sugars were still in normal range. He planned to get his fasting insulin and hs-C-reactive protein levels done today to confirm hyperinsulinemia and inflammation of the liver but he didn’t make it to the laboratory this morning. Early in the morning on Saturday, his car went to get the annual road worthiness check up and it failed the test- he had bumped the side of it parking in our shed- so that failed the car. Now he needs to get it fixed before the car can go the test again. So one car is out of service again as it has no third party insurance until it passes the test.

Otherwise, today is Saturday and the woman who helps with the cooking is there, preparing healthy meals for us for today- when today I will be fasting and my husband can add one carbohydrate to one meal today- the other meals continue as before( protein 25gms and two cups of above  the ground veggies). It is day 9 today and apart from a few complaints yesterday, he has done well on this diet. Am bent on getting him to a normal lifestyle with no medications if possible.

Lunch Date

As a follow up to my trip to San Antonio last year, the two ladies I travelled with and I agreed to meet often to share our lives after San Antonio. Unfortunately life being what it is, none of us could make it to a date for three months now.

D, one of the group took things in hand and invited me to lunch yesterday( well in advance of course). So we met up but the other girl M could not attend. She had not been told of the date. Apparently D was so exasperated with each of us making excuses to not meet that she decided to just go ahead and meet with whoever was available and it happened to be me.

We went to a nearby restaurant( only walking distance) and had a good meal. But what happened during the lunch when we talked about our lives really worried me. D is a wonderful girl, very enthusiastic and passionate about her work.

Her supervisor told her that everyone appreciates her enthusiasm but when they go to meetings together, he does not want her to talk as it sometimes was difficult to make out who the supervisor was and who the coordinator was. Can you beat that ? He was insecure because she would take the lead in meetings and discuss about how to proceed with things. The supervisor has only been a year in position but D has been there about 5 years. D is so upset that she hasn’t been with her supervisor for any meeting after January and now she wants to leave the job.

To me this is a blatant case of bullying. I have written about the bullying I faced in my previous job before. Bullying is an awful place to be when you are the victim. Often it is because the victim is better at work than the perpetrator. And it often stems from jealousy, gender based discrimination and misuse of power.

I think D should not leave her job or look for another opening. She should stay put but the job is affecting her health. Last week she had high blood pressure with nose bleeding( at 35).

This is an awful situation to be in.

Farce

via Daily Prompt: Farce

When I think of farce, I think of two facedness. One for oneself and one for others. The harm in this is that sometimes with time, the outward face, the pleasing face is what we become even internally until we forget who the real we are.

I worked in a hostile work environment for a few years. If I had to survive I needed to behave a certain way, talk a certain way or not talk another way. Mingle with people who the “group” wants you to mingle with and not move with those who are perceived “different”. For a time I lived a life of farce( everyday hating myself for who I had become or who I had turned into.) I  truly understood the meaning of the Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde concept then. Each human being can become another if he wants.

Call it part of our survival mechanism- Darwin and Alfred Wallace would have been happy. If we need to survive, sometimes we have to live a farcical life.

The minute we turn into somebody we are not, all sorts of psychosomatic ailments start plaguing us. Some of us have difficulty falling asleep, some have difficulty going to work or hating  the new day. It can manifest as high blood pressure or even as eczema.

Let your inner self out- don’t shackle your inner being. Let people see and appreciate you for who you are not for what they want to see.

#JusJoJan Daily Prompt- Jan 26/17- Extraordinary

My husband is going on a 6 month sabbatical to study  liver transplants at Singapore. He has been having qualms about going there or anywhere for that matter. He has a cushy job here and makes a fair deal of money- has good work colleagues and has a fairly devoted patient clientele, who pay visits regularly. Being a person who dislikes change, he hates to leave all that and go back to being a student at 54, soon to be 55.

In a moment of rashness, he sent in an application to the Singapore hospital asking if they would accept him into the course, being too old that he thinks he is.

The Singapore program application process is vigorous to say the least. The application was scrutinised at all levels and after about 6 months, he found he was accepted to the program. By then, regrets had started setting in. But he decided to talk to his current boss as a first step. The boss told him not to resign his job but to take a year’s vacation off from work here and pursue whatever his heart told him to. What a wonderful boss ! One hurdle cleared.

Then came the governmental paper work and regulations that needed to be followed for a doctor to get a license to practise in Singapore. That required governmental paper work from here to Singapore. A few hitches occurred but everything got sorted our extraordinarily.

And again, finances- who would support him while he was in Singapore ? The course is without pay and Singapore is not a cheap place to stay in. That sorted itself out too, extraordinarily. He had paid leave of so many months which would give him a monthly pay till his course ended. Extraordinary !

Then accommodation. We had no clue as to how to do it. Just happened that on one of his trips to Singapore he met a man, who happened to have a whole apartment building which he rented out and it was near the hospital. He rented us a one room apartment, which is all we need at this time – expensive but doable. Extraordinary !

My husband who had never probably cooked a thing in his life, not having need to, suddenly has shown an interest in learning to cook, though with not much enthusiasm. He can do a decent chicken and cook rice, and make rotis too. So he may not starve. Eating out is not an option for him as he is not fond of Chinese food, so its either that or learn to cook. Learning to cook is no mean feat for him. Extraordinary !

Finally, the day is near. In four days time, he will be a student again- after about 15 years. It will be an extraordinary experience.

What I wanted to emphasise here is that he wanted to quit ever since he applied and has been regretting his application but things are all going the other way for him( against his wishes), he seems to be put in a situation, which will make a student out of him again. All hurdles were moved out of his way, extraordinarily.

In the natural course of things, if things are right and they are meant to be, no force on earth can stand in the way of things. Like the Biblical story of Jonah. Jonah was a reluctant preacher. He never wanted to go to Nineveh- he had better things to do but he set out on a reluctant journey and fought every inch of the way with God until he was swallowed by the whale and then he saw things as God saw them and wanted them. And he cooperated and saved one of the biggest towns in history. Nineveh, I have read, is twin city to Mosul in Iraq.