A weekend day. Light work. Hot as an oven. Hubby planned to go out to the shops in the morning but came back with wings on his feet. I am laughing to think of hubby as an angel- an angel with feet wings.
Lunch was leftovers heated up. Breakfast was the usual fare- rice and lentil pancakes with lentil curry. Seem to have a severe protein deficiency. So consuming hemp powder by the spoonful.
Going out now when the call for prayer goes out- this is a good time to be out- the traffic is in control and the roads are relatively empty. The days get longer and longer. No emails from college so far- no news is probably good news.
Hubby is worried about getting a job in the home country. Sometimes opportunities come and we don’t see them as opportunities but as obstacles when in fact they are disguised opportunities. The human mind is so idiotic – sometimes it takes decisions like letting sleeping dogs lie, liking the status quo when a good shake up of the status quo is just what we need. The status quo is good for the present but not good in the long term. Change is the order of the universe.
Write, write, write says Natalie Goldberg, the author who I am reading now. Write bookfuls of junk out of which junk will come up a lotus plant, tall and beautiful- that spreads its fragrance about it. Writing keeps us honest and honesty needs to come out of good writing. Often I write and then I edit because I think of how the writing might impact someone who reads it. What I have edited out is what I truly am.
The pursuit of who I truly am is my connection to the creator, God and my deeper self. Writing gives me the path to identify who I am, without any pretences. I hope to reach that inner space of honesty, the true me.
via Daily Prompt: Farce
When I think of farce, I think of two facedness. One for oneself and one for others. The harm in this is that sometimes with time, the outward face, the pleasing face is what we become even internally until we forget who the real we are.
I worked in a hostile work environment for a few years. If I had to survive I needed to behave a certain way, talk a certain way or not talk another way. Mingle with people who the “group” wants you to mingle with and not move with those who are perceived “different”. For a time I lived a life of farce( everyday hating myself for who I had become or who I had turned into.) I truly understood the meaning of the Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde concept then. Each human being can become another if he wants.
Call it part of our survival mechanism- Darwin and Alfred Wallace would have been happy. If we need to survive, sometimes we have to live a farcical life.
The minute we turn into somebody we are not, all sorts of psychosomatic ailments start plaguing us. Some of us have difficulty falling asleep, some have difficulty going to work or hating the new day. It can manifest as high blood pressure or even as eczema.
Let your inner self out- don’t shackle your inner being. Let people see and appreciate you for who you are not for what they want to see.
I was listening to a youtube video by Jacqueline, where she says everyone should have a blueprint for their lives. A vision statement.
I am thinking what about putting down what I think might be my vision for the rest of May ?
- To write at least 5 more blog posts before the month is done.
- To not use words in vain- either spoken or written, more so, my spoken word.
- To eat less. To get rid of my sugar addiction.
- To sleep more.
- To cast my cares upon the Lord and believe that they are with him and he will work on them.