Day 40- insurance

June 23, 2018

Its 40 days since I started blogging continuously. Time does pass fast. I am getting bigger and bigger with all the stress making me eat more.

I await my visa appointment of the 25th for everything depends on the  outcome of that appointment. We have health insurance cards given by our university which I have to return to HR on the last day of work. Found out today that big daughter’s card is with her in another country.Now how am I going to get it in time to return it to HR ? Maybe my end of service benefits will be delayed.

Daughter has gone over to a friend’s house for the day.

I am working on QGIS. And the version 3.0 does not have vector tools on it. Seems like a bug and the bug report will take 2 weeks for a response. Net search tells me that one needs to removed a plug-in called ” processing” and then restart the program. Not working.

I have a 6 page assignment to complete with this question- how am I going to complete it? Since the summer solstice, seems like the heat has toned down  a little. I am turning off the AC a few times as my feet are cold.

It is a nice change. Surplus of food in the fridge is a problem because one has to finish it. Left to me I would not have made new food until the old is over. But with the house help cum cook, food is made fresh every day. So what can I do with leftovers ?





My daughter is coming home today. It has been nearly 5 years and 9 months since she left home in 2011 to earn her degree at her university. Today she is a full fledged doctor and more important to a mother’s heart, back home to her mamma.

I remember her as a little toddler holding my hands and walking as we went along country roads, looking at stones, or little plants along the way, singing little songs and talking in the language only she and I spoke.

I remember her after her baby sister came when she thought that I might not like her as much as before and the times I tried to make up to her and to reassure her that I would always be there for her. I have always felt that from the time her sister arrived, she grew up. She helped us a lot with the upbringing of our littler daughter. It was unfair to her but she did it so cheerfully and she really loves her little sister. I often think that since that time she has been a little distant with me. The times we spent together were not the same any more. I was a lot more harangued and tied up. She did her lessons alone. Basically she grew up a lot alone.

But when she reached her teens and we relocated to another country, she came to her own again. It seemed like she had regained confidence once more in herself. In her new school, she shone- she made a lot of new friends. She grew up- my little girl. Till she left us for her college, which was to be her home for over 5 years.

Today she comes back; I am not sure how long she will be with me- for I can’t see where her life will take her.

Little daughter- you will always be my little daughter, even though you try to reassure me that you are all grown up. I wish I could ease the worry lines from your forehead once more as I did for that little girl. I wish you would transfer all your troubles to me and I could deal with them. I wish you would find comfort and faith in our Heavenly father once more. I wish for you all the love in the world- I pray for the love of a good man in your life, one with whom you can knit your life together and have fun and good times together. I wish for you a future with little sorrows and a spirit of love and honor and integrity. I wish for you a smooth road ahead.

Little daughter, I want you to know that as long as I am alive, I will be there for you and you can bring your troubles to me. But more than me, I would like you to rely on our heavenly Father who can carry you through everything.

God bless you and welcome home, little daughter !

Cat update and my day 31

The second last day before my diet ends. I am actually going to miss it, so I think I am going to continue it. A loss of 5 kgs is not a joke for me, someone who has been trying to do so for at least a few years. My sugar cravings are gone now, completely. I don’t want to be going there again and if I remind myself that I am on the diet formally, maybe I won’t fall off.

Kath, one of my coworkers has  a six week old puppy, who she adopted grudgingly recently. The puppy is seemingly healthy, playful and has a good appetite. My friend has dreadlocks and the puppy likes to sleep on her neck and he apparently chews her dreadlocks to soothe himself to sleep. Long story short, the puppy now has an inflated tummy and is sometimes in pain. His bowel and bladder move normally and he is eating well  but Kath is worried about the puppy. A scan of the abdomen showed a few blocks in his system and the vet is not sure what they are. Kath teaches diving on weekends and as her classes are important to her and her students, she would like someone to look after her pup while she is out teaching. Of course, I said I could keep her. At my home there is a 4 year old cat and I am not sure how he is going to react to having a pup at home. Called my husband up and he agreed to have her.

The stray cat Gundu is still in my laundry room. The guy who helps with housework took a look at him yesterday and told me cheerfully that he was a goner. He had seen the other strays lie down similarly for days before they passed on. I lost my spirit after this and went up to sit in my room and brood. Previously such emotions would have led me straight to a binge. Now I didn’t feel like it- was it my extreme anxiety or my genuinely having lost my sugar cravings- I can’t tell. When I came down at around 7:30 pm to get my daughter her dinner, I looked in at him and found him down from his cushioned perch and down on the floor, near the door- and— he was on all four legs. I called out to my house help and boy, was he surprised. I forgot to mention that while I was upstairs, I prayed with all my heart for him and concluded with ” Lord, if it is your will, take him.” Shortly after, I saw him  on all four legs . He still didn’t want to eat anything but he was looking a little more alive than the previous day- it was now about 36 hours since this started.

I put him on his window perch outside my kitchen window and he sat there quietly watching the other strays eating. There are about 7 now, left after the poisoner did his job. After some time he allowed me to carry him and put him inside the laundry room on his cushion.

This morning at 3 am, I woke up and found him quite awake and eyes alive. He hit himself against my legs as cats often do and then when I sat down on the floor wanted to climb on my lap, which I let him. He sat there peacefully and I sat at peace too, grateful in the moment, for the few extra minutes that God had granted me with him. You can never tell with strays.

At 6 am, I went to check on him again and he came out of the room on his own and even sniffed at a bit of his favourite cat food but didn’t seem to want any. But at least he sniffed.And that is something.

So at the beginning of day 31, I am at 85 kgs and am wearing a top which was way too tight for me when I was “obese” and now I could just about manage to pull over my head but at least it got in. My bust looks crushed because the top is a little tight over there but I am ok. The arms feel tight. It is good to be back in the ” XL” range of clothes from XXL or XXXL.

And I am grateful.