Day 41- fear

June 24, 2018

Sunday. At work. There is a card sitting on my table. I am not sure who or how they put it on my desk. Turned out to be a birthday card – from the HR department. How did they know it was my birthday, considering that for most people it doesn’t even seem to matter.

After the GIS course issues and sorting them out and writing up assignments, I am now at the height of paranoia. I fear everything now. I am unable to embrace any good thing. I can’t seem to believe that good will happen. I am constantly second-guessing myself. It is not good. I seem to have lost confidence. And it is just 6 days to the day.

What am I going to do? Fears of whether immigration will swab and prod and push and be rude haunt me. Other fears about immigration at the other end of the passage taking me for an interview in a separate room trouble me- how am I going to deal with all this? No one in the family will be with me. I will be all alone. The fear of the visa interview tomorrow is killing me. What if they reject my application? What if everything so far has been in vain?

Fear is not good. It makes you sad and it makes you eat more. That is not good-either for me or my body. I don’t like to be dependent on anything. But it seems I don’t mind being dependent on my husband.

 

Day 40- insurance

June 23, 2018

Its 40 days since I started blogging continuously. Time does pass fast. I am getting bigger and bigger with all the stress making me eat more.

I await my visa appointment of the 25th for everything depends on the  outcome of that appointment. We have health insurance cards given by our university which I have to return to HR on the last day of work. Found out today that big daughter’s card is with her in another country.Now how am I going to get it in time to return it to HR ? Maybe my end of service benefits will be delayed.

Daughter has gone over to a friend’s house for the day.

I am working on QGIS. And the version 3.0 does not have vector tools on it. Seems like a bug and the bug report will take 2 weeks for a response. Net search tells me that one needs to removed a plug-in called ” processing” and then restart the program. Not working.

I have a 6 page assignment to complete with this question- how am I going to complete it? Since the summer solstice, seems like the heat has toned down  a little. I am turning off the AC a few times as my feet are cold.

It is a nice change. Surplus of food in the fridge is a problem because one has to finish it. Left to me I would not have made new food until the old is over. But with the house help cum cook, food is made fresh every day. So what can I do with leftovers ?