June 16, 2018
Read a facebook post today of a girl. She was a student at the Medical College I graduated from. Different from me, she stayed on there and continued till she became a Neurosurgeon- perhaps one of the few women neurosurgeons in the whole country. And after reaching the pinnacle of her success- one day, 10 years ago, she quit and she moved countries. From sweltering heat to freezing snows- to Calgary, in Canada. For years she has been on a journey in search of herself and though she has no qualms of leaving a remunerative profession, she does look back. She is now a writer. After years of hibernation in the snow and the cool summers and the flowers and in the lap of nature, she has returned to her motherland- I do wonder why. And everything about the motherland surprises her- the heat, the interference, the internet, the poking nose into other people’s affairs- everything.
I seem to be in a similar boat too- I have not returned to my alma mater for any reunion or meetings with classmates since I graduated.My ideal world is where there would be very few of my classmates or college mates. The irony of the situation is that my elder daughter is at the very same institution doing her Masters degree and my husband did his graduation and post graduation from there. I seem to be running away too. I now live in the lap of luxury- materially. I have everything a normal human being would require- freedom to buy and spend on most things I require or don’t require- Price tags are just things to pull out of things I buy- not things to look at and debate about whether I need such a costly thing. Apart from the desert landscape, the brown color of everything depresses me. A rainy day fascinates me. Floods intrigue me. The grass is always greener somewhere else.
My farewell party- Cyn asked me what I would miss most about my current job. I said the ability to spend freely and not watch pennies, or dollars for that matter. What would I not miss ? The ability to write freely, speak freely with no religious overtones or undertones, the ability to breathe fresh air, with no dust. Dust free- that would be ideal. And mobility- to use my two legs without having to look at the pedometer and wonder how I haven’t made 10K steps yet. It always looks like my day ends with just about 800 steps. I will not miss the sedentary life. People at the party rolled eyes at me- there was one who has been in the country 15 years and was skeptical of my return to my mother country. I may not like it once I reach there. Things may look rosy now but may be too watery there.
Is life about running away all the time ? I am glad my husband is a keeper and hangs on to me for dear life, or I am sure I would run away from him too. Books are a means for me to escape from reality and so is food. Food is such a comfort- there is no hunger that drives my passion for eating. There is food, so it must be eaten- that’s the rule I follow.