Being honest · Choices · Commitment · Speaking one's mind · Weight loss · Who I am- knowing my inner self

Commitment

I weigh 193.6 lbs today – that is 88 kgs. In kgs it looks a lot smaller but it is what it is. My ideal weight should be 131 lbs. I am like 60 lbs overweight. My BMI is 30. something. I am overweight. I need to accept that. I travelled once to the US last November. Returning home, i was jet lagged and drained. Then started my sugar splurge- a tsp here in a cup of tea, a couple of teaspoonfuls there. And the weight slowly started creeping up. To be fair, it crept up slowly. There were days when I had gas and migraine headaches and to control it I used Strawberry Fanta, which is one of the sweetest drinks available. Lunch is usually had at 10:30 am and naturally at around 3 pm, I would feel hungry and sugar deprived. I ran down to the cafe umpteen times and satisfied by sugar cravings with at least 2 bars of coconut Bounty each time and the pounds kept adding up. I reached 90 kgs at my worst- I don’t even want to see it in lbs. It would be near 200 lbs. My backside has grown laterally and posteriorly. I prefer to wear pants with elastic rather than ones with hooks. The changes have slowly been made even without my conscious knowledge. The sugar in my cups of black tea increased to up to 6 tsps at a time and then the number of cups of tea increased all surreptitiously of course. Two days back we had an issue with my elder daughter. A lot of concern and worry. Happy to say, I went off food completely during this time.

As I tense my body and purse my lips, I look angry. During sleep I clench my teeth and have the thing they call bruxism. I am tense even when I sleep- and sleep is hard to come by. As I tense my body, I feel heavy and uncomfortable. The 20 extra kgs weigh heavy on my mind and on my body. I waddle when I walk.

As I release, and write up my emotions on this new day, I feel like I can look at the facts more openly and move forward. I feel I can do it. I feel I can reach my 59 kg goal. I feel less heavy and more ready to commit to a plan.

One other confession- a month back, I read of Ritu’s signing up for Slimming World online and I did too- for 3 months. I was so sugar controlled that I could not even understand the plan. I cannot understand the logic of what they ask you to do. Now I use Slimming World only for logging my weekly weight loss or gain. There- I have got it off my chest.

Today is day 9.

 

 

9 thoughts on “Commitment

  1. You can do it! I’ve been counting my calories with the Lose It! app on my phone for the past three weeks and it’s done wonders for me. I have a post in the works about exercise, too. Keep me posted on how you’re doing! ❤️

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    1. Do you need to lose weight or get fitter ? I would think you are quite fit because of all the treks and hikes you do so often.
      Have you been able to achieve your goals ?
      I am so desperate, I am even ready to go completely off food for some days to start off a weight loss process.:)
      Susie

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I just need to lose weight. I’ve lost about fifteen pounds in the past month. It’s frustrating that it’s not instant results, but calorie tracking is really good for me because I can see that it’s getting easier for me to eat fewer and fewer calories each day.

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      2. I only drink water and unsweetened tea now and I’ve been making healthier food choices, like salad instead of French fries and popcorn instead of potato chips. I’ve also been walking an extra 2-3 miles per day and dancing 30 minutes a couple times a week.

        I don’t think I’ve written about healthy eating, but if we go out to eat I always google nutrition facts for the restaurant to figure out exactly what I’m eating before I go inside.

        Liked by 1 person

  2. This is a situtaion familiar to me. 2 months back, i had given a dress for stiching and when I went to collect it, a good one month later, I couldn’t fit into it tearing off the seams. I knew the culprit was the increased sugar intake. I had been drinking 2 mugs of tea every day with 2 spoonfuls of sugar each time. In addition, there were also the sweetened biscuits. When I cut the sugar altogether, I developed withdrawl symptoms in the form of severe headaches. These days, I go for walks on days when son goes to school and it is somewhat helpful. Sugar has though made a comeback in half proportions.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I so understand you- this sugar can take you by the hair and roll you all around- it can make you addicted until you need more and more to get less and less. After you indulge you can even go into depression. It is one of the worst discoveries of mankind- I think.

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