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The silent treatment- I

I am not sure about you but I have often given the silent treatment to people when I want them to know I am offended with them. Call me judgemental or what but this I have done. I confess it has been quite effective in getting me things I wouldn’t have got had I argued or yelled for.

One silent treatment has been lasting ever since 1989. That has been too long, hasn’t it ? Come to think of it, what did that silent treatment get me ? It was with a guy who used to trouble me a lot in college. As many of my previous posts show, I hadn’t performed too well in college. There was an instance when I got 5/10 for a record work assignment. It was an outright fail grade. All of us who had grades below a certain cut off were asked to rewrite our assignment. It took me some time to go to the Academics office and collect my record and rewrite my work. When I reached the office, I found that someone had already collected my book. A short while later, i found my book with a very interfering, persistent boy ( now middle aged) with my book and refusing to hand it over to me. Apparently he wanted to sit with me and help me with rewriting my work, so I would make the passing grade.

I blew it that day. I couldn’t take it that someone had actually had the audacity to collect my book and then offer his help(rather, force his help) on me to help me get passing grades. After telling him off in style, as a passing shot, I added, ” Since you seem to want my record so much, keep it.I have no need for it.”  I am not sure where I got the guts to do that but that’s what I did and I walked off. That date is etched in my memory. Ever since I have not talked with that person, though he tried many times and even tried to return my book to me before the due date for submission- I refused to accept it ( I had bought a new record book and rewritten my work and submitted it to0.)

I still don’t regret giving the silent treatment to people. I think it has been very effective, overall.

Does the silent treatment work for you ?

Have you ever used it ?

 

23 thoughts on “The silent treatment- I

  1. To answer your question – yes I have done that, given silent treatment to people who have tried messing up with me or messed up with me. Many a times it becomes necessary to do so because fighting requires a lot of energy and ends up creating negativity for ourselves too.

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  2. I deleted “silently” people on facebook who showed no interest in anyone but themselves and stopped responding to posts outside of their page or sometimes their viewpoints were very scary to me.

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      1. No. If you feel they are not in the same corner as you and might not even come to your assistance in “real time” and their purpose is more to snoop and your intuition tells you “get rid of them” …I do.

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      2. I do too. I felt that this guy was pursuing me for no reason- I told him so too- what am I to you that you are so bothered that you took my record book from the office and are walking around with it, instead of giving it to me and then giving me a high handed attitude that he wanted to help me write the record so that I would pass the exam. I mean, the height of controlling behaviour from someone who was just a classmate and nothing more. I would never allow that ! 🙂

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      3. Nice, I like that. I can tell you what it was but as he is a highly successful doctor now, I wouldn’t want to do that on a public forum.
        The point was human beings can be so controlling and when the straight route does not work, one has to bend one’s fingers to achieve the same result.
        Cyn, so glad to hear from you – is everything fine at your end ?
        Susie

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  3. I’m somewhere in the middle… I have given the silent treatment, but I’ve also had all-out yelling matches. Sometimes a girl just has to express her feelings lol! Good for you tho, he sounded like a complete ass.

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  4. To a point. I use the silent treatment when I get very angry and my say something I would regret. I then talk over the issue when I’m calm. I believe communication is always better than not. Unless the person is one who talks at you and not to you. In that case, the silent treatment is the best option.

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    1. Yeah, Cyn, you are a woman after my own heart. Out of sheer exasperation, one might just have to resort to the silent treatment. It is not the best option, of course, communication is the best but I think, very effective. 🙂
      Susie

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  5. I agree with Cynthia; better to be silent than say things you may regret later. However, once emotions settle down you may be able to resolve differences with calm, clear communications that are open & honest. However, it depends on the other person; it’s a 50-50 proposition and they have to meet you halfway!

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  6. People (souls) are placed in our path for a season and a reason. Even family members sometimes need “the silent treatment” as you call it to stop the pain and mental cruelty that has dominated a person’s life. I dwelled in that environment for a very long time, not knowing what was being said behind my back. Turning away from someone you have known a long time or a family member is so hard to do, but the truth hurts so much more than the facade. Yet, the truth will finally give you a clear conscience and a freedom you’ve never known before. Some souls in karma are not meant to co-exist for any longer than a season. Clear your mind and your true essence will shine. In your case, your grades will probably improve when you’re doing your own thinking and writing, saying what you feel and not what you think other people want you to say/write. Grasp your inner beauty and let it shine!

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    1. Debbie, thank you for writing in. I like your thoughts about karma and how some souls are not to be together except for a time but it also happens that in spite of the silent treatment, some people keep coming back into your life as though there is some work left undone between us. We are left wondering didn’t we close this chapter so long ago ? These are some of the strange coincidences of life.
      Susie

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