Last evening, my daughter was studying for a physics test.
Scene : Chapter 1 completed. Me napping in the background, waiting- in- line, in case she needed to ask me questions- on standby mode.
Suddenly, she jumps up and comes to me, lying on me,just like when she was a little child, and wanting a hug. And she burst into tears.
Anxious mother that I was, I asked her what happened and she replied: Mama, I had a bad day at school.
So I asked her what happened and the story unwinded.
During English lessons, the class had to split up into two groups in order to facilitate a group discussion.
She was seated with the 9 boys of her class , because she had joined late for school and the only available seats were in the boys’ section.
So when the teacher announced the group discussion, the girls grouped together and the boys grouped together but where was my daughter to go ?
To add injury to insult, a couple of boys’ said, we don’t want her in our group. So she was left standing in no man’s land, until one of the girls and the teacher took pity on her and asked her to join the girls’ group.
Simple and stupid though this incident might seem, it seemed to affect my teenager’s psyche- so much so that she could not move on to her lesson 2 of her Physics test.
I listened to her story and comforted her in the way I knew best, knowing all along that anything I said had no meaning at all, none to my daughter at that time, who was weeping bucketfuls.
With a hug and a kiss, I said, Mama is your friend, no matter what. I know that wasn’t enough but what could I do ?
Teenage is a difficult period in a person’s life but God knows, every day is a struggle but during teenage, we tend to take things a lot more seriously than when we were children or as adults.
Perhaps it is the hormones or it is peer pressure to belong to a group or the feeling of wanting to get accepted. I have been through the same in school at her age but having few friends never seemed to bother me much because perhaps I tended to make friends with people from other classes or people on the road( when I walked back from school) or the school domestic staff or anyone who wanted to talk. But to some sensitive teenagers, like my daughter, belonging to a group or a cohort is so important.
Any advice ?