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A week of rejections

After a hectic two months’ of work, we have finally broken for the Winter holidays. God knows, I need this break. It is a luxury for me to be able to laze in bed till 6 am or thereabouts and get up leisurely to do my housewifely chores- chores that had been left undone for about 8 weeks, plants untended to, house to be set in order, laundry to be sorted out or to put in washing and all the other mundane tasks that I had conveniently forgotten in my mad rush to get to my job every day.

I like the job- it gives me a little of the intellectual stimulation I was looking for and some peace of mind. I liked being a full time homemaker too. God knows what I am- an ambitious career person or a homebody?

i heard a motivational speech last week about giving honour to people. Give honour to all manner of people and the honour will come back to you, thus said the speaker. I decided to practice this in my life, with almost similar results.

There is a writing course in which I was enrolled, and in the discussion forums of which I commented, praising and “honouring” someone’s else’s writing. The writer replied in curt terms, which really hurt my feelings. Then another writer asked for comments on his writing and I did comment, on it only to get another short reply saying, he wanted feedback only after the deadline passed. ( Such comments would adversely affect his grade!)- so there was another snub.

i had a war of written words with a lady, who had not been regular with her writing payments. Harsh words were exchanged and at the end of the argument, we found, nobody won. Another wasted effort of honouring someone, who had actually been one of my first clients and for which I am immensely grateful. I regret the harsh words I wrote to her and wish I hadn’t.

I was out for some Christmas shopping yesterday and a checkout girl spoke rudely to me- it was rather a new experience for me. The incident rankles still and I keep wondering why it happened to me.

And finally today, I got a letter saying my application for a promotion in my writing job was being rejected because of adverse comments written by a client about my writing. So much for that !

Whew ! Feel better when I wrote and aired it all out. Hopefully I can heal now.

What did I learn from these incidents ?

I cannot understand why they happened to me or why I behaved the way I did.

I am reminded of the words of the same motivational speaker who said, various people are put in one’s life for a purpose- they are like sandpaper, which smoothens out the rough edges of one’s personality.

Today I cannot see the purpose of these people and incidents in my life, but perhaps a time will come when I am grateful for them and what they have taught me.

For now, it is Christmas time, the time of loving and giving.

Merry X’mas everyone !